YOur MOm May Disagree, But When It COmes To RelatiOnships It's NOt
Always Prudent To Adhere To The Maxim "HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY."
When Looking FOr And Cultivating InterpersOnal COnnectiOns, We ShOuld
All Be Up- FrOnt AbOut Ourselves. There Is A Need To Reveal
InfOrmatiOn AbOut Our Past RelatiOnships And What Our ExpectatiOns Are
In MOving FOrward With That Other PersOn. But DOes The Other PersOn
Need To Really KnOw Everything?
The ShOrt Answer Is NO. In Fact, There Are Certain Scenarios Where It
Behooves Us And Our RelatiOnships To Lie (Or MOre Precisely) WithOld
The Truth.
Read On To Learn Where And When It's Okay To HOld YOur TOngue, Or Even
Spit Out What The Germans Refer To As An "Emergency Lie."
1• LYING ABOUT YOUR INSECURITIES:
It's A Sad Fact That Often We Are Nicer To Other PeOple Than We Are To
Ourselves- At Least In Our Minds. Unless We Practice Keeping It In
Check, A Disparaging Inner Dialogue Can Eat Away At Our Self-Esteem
Until We Feel Like Less Than NOthing. But When We Verbalize The Awful
Things We Think AbOut Ourselves To Our Significant Other, That PersOn
And The RelatiOnship Suffer•
Take A WOman WhO's Scrutinizing Herself In FrOnt Of A MirrOr. She
POints Out This Flaw And That Wrinkle To Her
BOyfriend/Husband/Significant Other WhO Then, In Turn, PrObably Says
SOmething To The COntrary To Alleviate SOme Of Her Anxiety. He Walks
Away And She Feels Better. Here's The Catch: He PrObably Never Really
Paid Much AttentiOn To The Perceived ImperfectiOn But NOw There'S A
Chance That He Might. By Bringing Flaws To The FOrefrOnt, YOu Are
Making Them Even Bigger.
We All Have Things That We DOn't Like AbOut Ourselves And It's Okay To
Share Such Insecurities With YOur Partner, But DOn't Go Overboard. The
Fact That YOur Waist Isn't Small EnOugh And YOur Feet Are Too Big Is
YOur OpiniOn- DOn't Try To COnvince AnyOne ELSE•
2• LYING TO SPARE FEELINGS:
FOr Our SecOnd POint We'll Need To Refer To The First One. We've All
Been In A SituatiOn When We've Needed To StrOke SOmeOne's Ego Because
He Or She Was Feeling Insecure. If YOu Happen To Be The BOyfriend In
The AfOrementiOned Example, It's Best To COnfirm The Fact That YOur
Girlfriend Indeed DOes Have Saddlebags. This Is Where The Emergency
Lie COmes In. "What Saddlebags? YOu're Crazy!" Is A Good RespOnse.
It's AlsO Okay To Lie When SOmeOne Is TryiNG To Do SOmething Nice FOr
YOu And Fails. Think Of The SituatiOn When SOmeOne Made YOu A
Chocolate Cake But Didn't KnOw YOu Can't Stand Chocolate. Or The Time
YOur Significant Other Took YOu To See His Favourite Band-A Band That
YOu Weren't Too Crazy AbOut. This Is Where YOur MOm Is Right: It's The
Thought That COunts•
3• KEEPING YOUR FRIEND'S SECRETS:
This Lie Falls Under The "Witholding InfOrmatiOn" Kind Of Lie. This Is
A Pretty Simple Rule That NOt Many PeOple Think AbOut: YOur Friend's
Secrets Are NOt YOur Own. So DOn't Go Spilling Them To YOur
Significant Other.
BefOre We're Hooked Up, Our Friends Are Everything. Then We Meet A
Partner WhO, AmOng Other Things, BecOmes Our Best Friend. In Turn,
That PersOn Gets To KnOw All SOrts Of Things AbOut Us And That's Where
The InfOrmatiOn ShOuld Stop (But It Rarely DOes). Telling YOur
BOyfriend/Girlfriend That YOur Best Friend Slept With X-Number Of
PeOple In COllege Is Bad FOrm. MOreOver, It's In Bad Taste.
If YOu Truly Want To BE A Good Friend, DOn't Reveal Every SkeletOn In
YOur Friend's ClOsets To YOur Partner. YOu May NOt Think That It
Qualifies As GOssip Because YOu're COnfiding In SOmeOne YOu LOve, But
It IS•
4• LYING ABOUT YOUR PAST:
One Of The Biggest First-Date Blunders Is HOnesty. That Is, Too Much
HOnesty. WithOut Realizing It, Or Maybe Out Of Nervousness, Many
PeOple Are Very FOrthcOming Right Off The Bat And This Is Embarrasing
FOr The PersOn On The Other Side Of The Table. Never Mind COnverstiOn
That TOuches UpOn Exes, Divorces, Weddings, ReligiOn Or Death Is Too
Heavy FOr A First Date.
If The First, SecOnd And Third Dates Go Off WithOut A Hitch, YOu're In
Good Shape. But That Still DOesn't Mean That It's Time To Tell YOur
New COmpaniOn All Of YOur Secrets. In Fact, It's Never Really Time To
Tell YOur Partner Everything, Particularly AbOut The PeOple YOu Dated
BefOre Him Or Her.
The RULE Is: Supply YOur Partner With A Name, The Span Of Time YOu
Dated That PersOn And Perhaps A ReasOn Why YOu BrOke Up. Then Leave It
At That. Why MentiOn That YOur Old Girlfriend Was A MOdel Or That YOur
Ex-BOyfriend Was A PrOfessiOnal Athlete? DOing So May Make YOu Feel
Good, As If YOu're PrOving SOmething, But It'll Only Make YOur New
Partner Feel Bad. Likewise, Trashing The Ex Isn't RecOmmended Either.
Remember, There Is SOmething Very Sexy AbOut A PersOn WhO Remains A
Little MysteriOUS, So Leave A Few ShadOws In YOur Past As LOng As YOur
Secrets Are Harmless, There's No ReasOn NOt To Keep Them Secrets•
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