We Want Based On Family RelatiOnships, What We've Seen In The Media,
And Our Own Past RelatiOnship Experiences. Holding On To Unrealistic
ExpectatiOns Can Cause A RelatiOnship To Be Unsatisfying And To
Eventually Fail. The FOllOwing Will Help YOu To Distinguish Between
Healthy And PrOblematic RelatiOnship ExpectatiOns:
#1. RESPECT CHANGES:- What YOu Want FrOm A RelatiOnship In The Early
MOnths Of Dating Maybe Quite Different FrOm What YOu Want After YOu
Have Been TOgether FOr SOme Time.
Anticipate That BOth YOu And YOur Partner Will Change Over Time.
Feelings Of LOVE And PassiOn Change With Time, As Well. Respecting And
Valuing These Changes Brain Chemistry FOr The First MOnths Of A
RelatiOnship. FOr BOth Physiological And EmOtiOnal ReasOns, An
Established RelatiOnship Will Have A MOre COmplex And Often Richer
Type Of PassiOn Than A New RelatiOnship.
#2. ACCEPT DIFFERENCES:- It Is Difficult, But Healthy, To Accept That
There Are SOme Things AbOut Our Partner That Will NOt Change Over
Time, No Matter HOw Much We Want Them To.
UnfOrtunately, There Is Often An ExpectatiOn That Our Partner Will
Change Only In The Ways We Want. We May Also HOld The Unrealistic
ExpectatiOn That Our Partner Will Never Change FrOm The Way He Or She
Is NOw.
#3. EXPRESS WANTS AND NEEDS.
While It Is Easy To Assume That YOur Partner KnOws YOur Wants And
Needs, This Is Often NOt The Case And Can Be The SOurce Of Much Stress
In RelatiOnships. A Healthier Approach Is To Directly Express Our
Needs And Wishes To Our Partner.
#4. RESPECT YOUR PARTNER'S RIGHTS:- In Healthy RelatiOnships, There
Is Respect FOr Each Partner's Right To Have His/Her Own Feelings,
Friends, Activities, And OpiniOns. It Is Unrealistic To Expect Or
Demand That He Or She Have The Same Priorities, GOals, And Interests
As YOu.
#5. BE PREPARED TO "FIGHT FAIR" :- COuples Who View COnflicts As A
Threat To The RelatiOnship, And SOmething To Be AvOided At All COsts,
Often Find That Accumulated And Unaddressed COnflicts Are The Real
Threat. Healthy COuples Fight, But They "Fight Fair" - Accepting
RespOnsibility FOr Their Part In A PrOblem. Admitting When They Are
WrOng, And Seeking COmprOmise.
#6. MAINTAIN THE RELATIONSHIP:- MOst Of Us KnOw That Keeping A Vehicle
MOving In The Desired DirectiOn Requires NOt Only Regular Refueling,
But Also OngOing Maintenance And Active COrrectiOns To The Steering To
COmpensate FOr Changes In The ROad. A Similar SituatiOn Applies To
COntinuing RelatiOnships. While We May WOrk Hard To Get The
RelatiOnship Started, Expecting To Cruise WithOut EffOrt Or Active
Maintenance Typically Leads The RelatiOnship To Stall Or Crash! Though
Gifts And Getaways Are ImpOrtant, It Is Often The Small, NOn Material
Things That Partners ROutinely Do FOr Each Other That Keep The
RelatiOnship Satisfying.
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GREAT MINDZ
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