Thursday 1 November 2012

TEN MISTAKES MEN MAKE IN A RELATIONSHIP!

We all know that relationships can be tough. They begin with an
awkward dating period where both persons are on their best behavior.
After a few months, those curtains start to unravel and you begin to
see shadows of
the real person. Men often make a number of relationship blunders
during these crucial initial phases, and we're here to help you
recognize the ten worst ones. If you're just getting started in a
relationship, or part of a long- term affair -- get out pen and paper
(or you could just print it!). You'll want to keep track of these
tips.

#1. Giving a woman too much
power. Guys usually get into trouble when they allow a woman to have
too much (if not all) control in a relationship. She decides when you
go out, when you have sex, and which friends you can keep. She may
even decide what color slacks you're wearing to a party. Relinquishing
a majority of
control is a classic example of a man believing he doesn't deserve to
be with a certain type of woman, or a man who feels that he cannot
make decisions on his own. If you're a good man and
deserve a good woman, you
deserve a good relationship.
Swinging the power meter closer to a 50-50 deal would be more
beneficial for you. An even platform feels a whole lot better than a
80-20 deal, and you can't afford to be on the20 end of the spectrum.


#2. Trying to invoke too much control of your own. Even though you shouldn't
relinquish complete control of the relationship to the lady in your
life, you also shouldn't
hoard it all for yourself. Power struggles can create a competitive
environment, and there is no place for competition in a relationship.
Truth be told, most people like some level of control in their lives
and this includes their relationships with significant others. Men
should attempt to work with their mates to maintain respectable levels
of control.
Whether it's your heavy-handed decision-making or a demanding
attitude, women don't like control freaks, and an over- bearing guy
reeks of insecurity.


#3. Believing that today's good deeds will still be good tomorrow.
Women have short memories. Flowers and candy mean you love her today,
but tomorrow is a new day and a new chance to prove your love all over
again. A
man often lingers on his good motives and may not understand how his
sweetie can throw a hissy-fit while wearing the new dress he bought
just three days ago. Being a good boy scout doesn't mean you are no
longer obligated to do your chores. Keep doing the things you know are
necessary for relationship success. Women appreciate a good deed, but
they appreciate continuous, consistent good deeds even more.


#4. Being domineering or overly possessive. If your lady tells you that she
likes possessive, egotistical, iron- fisted dictators--you might be in
for the perfect relationship. That is, if your name is Joseph Stalin.
However, most women don't tolerate the jealous types and no woman
wants to be told what to do. Biblical principles tell us that a
man should lead. However, this worthy duty calls for an enormous amount of
responsibility and maturity. A
man should never believe that his mate is beneath him spiritually, or
emotionally, and a relationship should not view women as possessions.


#5. Allowing family members or friends to dictate what happens in the
relationship. This is an absolute NO-NO. If you are married and allow
your in- laws to have any measure of control in your relationship, you
are undoubtedly treading on
paper-thin ice. Your wife should not be subjected to this either. Even
if she allows you to use a bossy tone with her, she most certainly
doesn't appreciate it coming from your mama, your aunt, or anyone
else. Women don't like being told what to do (see Mistake #4), and it
irks
them even more when it's being dished out by another woman. You should
not allow your wife's family to make decisions that directly affect
your relationship. Everybody has an opinion, but it's the couple's
opinions that matter most. Outside opinions or ideas shouldn't be used
to
influence your relationship bond.


#6. Always kissing up. She's your beautiful queen. A sugar-dumplin',
honey-spiced,chocolate bunny pie. But she's also a human being. Which
means
if she commands respect, she
also has the ability to return it. Some people deserve respect
simply because they exist: a) Your mother - because she's a woman and
ushered your
nappy-head into the world. b) Women in general - because they're women
and the Good Bible tells us that we're supposed to be respectful.
Outside of that, all other respect
is earned. Don't be so apologetic (unless you've really screwed up);
don't assume that she's always right; and don't take the
blame for something that isn't your fault. More importantly, don't
place your lady on such a high pedestal that she forgets where
the ground is. A truly level- headed sista wouldn't want to
be that high, and may eventually resent being in a relationship with a
big pushover.


#7. COMPLACENCY. If you are not exactly where you
want to be in your life (financially, academically, or
spiritually) it's okay. That's life.
And while women tend to focus
more on the future, you shouldn't worry about having
the world in your palm when you
first meet. Over time, most women will expect to see progress and
eventually, results. Don't sit idle and allow life to pass you by.
Even if you're not the biggest
fish in the pond, being tenacious and goal-oriented is all any
woman could ask for. If she's
asking for more, you might want
to reconsider the type of woman
you're with.

#8. Choosing a woman based on
appearance alone. This is really dangerous, but all
men know that it is extremely
difficult to look past the
sexiness. Physical attraction is
important for both men and women, but we sometimes forget to
investigate other critical attributes we need in a woman. Since we are
from the 'Planet of
Imagery', male judgment is often
clouded in the beginning of a
relationship. A man's interest in
physical compatibility may keep him from thinking about other crucial
attributes until it's too late. Don't forget the essential
qualities like compassion,
compatibility, and whether or
not she makes any sense when
she speaks.

#9. Placing someone (anyone) or something before your mate. This
includes friends, relatives (See Mistake #5), co-workers, animals,
your car, your hobbies,
etc. Granted, there will be times
when you want to hang with the
boys, or occasions when you
have to spend extra time
working on that important project. But those things should never hold
more meaning than your relationship. When a woman feels that someone
or something is more important than her, you will surely have problems
getting her to respond to anything you have to say.


#10. Yielding to temptation from
other women. For some odd reason, women are
frequently more attracted to
men who are attached, or
already married. This isn't a good
thing if you're in a strong relationship and have a weakness for lust.
Your wife or girlfriend isn't stupid--she knows
that you can't help but look at
other women from time to time.
But that's as far as it goes. If the tempter is cognizant of the
situation and isn't a woman of good moral character -- (and she likely
isn't since she's
obviously seeking to tempt), she
may not care about disrupting your relationship -- especially if
she knows you're interested in
stepping out of line. Be vigilant when this happens. It
takes a lot of patience and
integrity to go against the grain.
Being tempted is natural. Yielding
to it is stupid. There you have it. We hope these ten tips are helpful
for men in relationships and those about to jump into one. Just
remember -- any man can make one mistake. Anything
greater than (1) and we may have to consider kicking you out of the club.

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